Today’s the first day of the long weekend – our labour day long weekend. Still remember last year’s labour day long weekend, I was at a club. Time flies. Since Jan 1, 2007, I haven’t been clubbing no more. Didn’t do that intentionally. It just came to a halt naturally. The second half of 2007 – for some reasons I always think it’s already 2008, which is not good. I can’t help questioning myself – Do I live in this moment? Gotta make sure that I live in the moment 活在當下 coz those who don’t are miserable. Overall, I think I’m happy. I sometimes want to ask my friends – Are you happy?
(I know my thoughts now are quite scattered. Jump from A to C to Z and back to B. It’s just thoughts. But if you choose to read more…)
Are you happy? I guess that question is pretty awkward in a way.
(Aside, there seems to be a difference between happy and joy. Though, I thought it was the other way around…)
I care, even though I might not seem to.
(Remember one of my classmates wrote on my F.5 graduation “memorial book” and said I always seem so close, yet so distant.)
I guess, that’s me. I don’t hold my girl friends’ hands/arms. Seldom ask too personal/family-related questions. Seldom dig or sniff around – I think if people want to share, they would say it. 君子之交淡如水 – this phrase always comes to my mind.
(Tell you something, this post wasn’t supposed to be a stand alone one – but an intro to my trip to Stratford. Since I was totally off topic after the first paragraph, I decided to make it another post.)
I blog quite often. Exposing oneself is dangerous and I know that. Why would I blog? I can’t even remember the motive of starting up a blog back in 2004. Always think back and try to find out the true self. But how do I know the self back then was true/original? I haven’t systematically studied philosophy, but this question seems a bit philosophical to me. Everyone changes and evolves. I was told that I was very shy and introverted when I was a kid. Due to whatever reasons, I was put into situations where I couldn’t stay that way. I changed and some people even see me as a hyper-extroverted party girl or social butterfly. Is that true? There must be reasons why people perceive me that way.
I dislike using “I”/”me” since I find it too self-centered, however I keep talking about myself here. Well, at least, here I’m not forcing people to read – unlike conversations, you are forced to listen to other talking about themselves.
Do I really love food? I remember getting the first business card of the restaurant and taking notes of the food experience. It was the time when I was with my first significant other. We were students with not much income. The food was ok, but I was excited about it. Where did I get the idea of keeping the food journal, I can’t remember.
Do I really love music? Without Internet, I think it would be very different. If I didn’t come back to Toronto, I don’t know if I’d appreciate music as I do now. Even, without certain friends, I wouldn’t have had the exposure to certain things.
Do I really love reading? I remember I always stayed in the library when I was a kid. I remember I got yelled at because I was reading non-stop from morning to evening and didn’t do any housework/homework.
Do I really love travelling? I recall reading maps to find out the routes from home to other districts in HK. I want to know where I am on the map and how to get to the other point.
Do I really love movies? Blockbusters, Rogers Videos, pirates, downloads. watching movie before bed. It was a late change.
Do I really love writing? I used to get a lot of A’s for Chinese/English compositions, and got a prize for an English poem once – I didn’t even know my teacher put the poem in the competition. I used to write 2-3 letters per day, compose an ICQ info every day. However, I never think I have this kind of talent at all, especially when I look at other people’s articles. The depth and breath, can’t compare. I’m just mumbling here.
Too many things that I love. I guess my passion is to embrace everything. That’s a bit too greedy, isn’t it?
Feel like a sponge a lot of the time. I’m reading, reading more, but still need to read more. Assimilate. I feel that answers are out there. Answers to the unknown questions.
Chaos, randomness, change. I feel like a new born. Open and curious.
Yes, create everything from nothing.