(不是第一次看到這篇文章，今天朋友又轉寄給我，就轉載了．)
不是因為害怕愛無法持續，所以在最愛的那一刻分手；
不是因為他(她)是你的最愛，老天爺忌妒你才把他(她)奪走；
「最愛的人不會在一起」是因為他(她)沒有跟你在一起，所以成為你的最愛。
就像你某天逛街突然看到一件TOMMY的外套，
你在當時有很多顧慮所以沒把它買下來，回家之後就一直對它念念不忘，
想著哪天要去把它買回來，結果當你準備好要去買它了，
卻發現它已經賣完了，而且你找遍全省都沒貨了，
你就開始悔恨自己幹嘛不當時就買下它，你就開始一輩子對它念念不忘，
對別人說你曾有件「最愛」的TOMMY家外套可是你卻錯過它。
如果在第一時間你就買下它的話，它現在還會是你的最愛嗎？
或許它就會像其他掛在你衣架上的外套一樣，它們被你掛在那兒，
然後你繼續在外面尋找你的「最愛」。
為什麼「最愛的人不會在一起」？因為你沒有擁有他(她)，
不論是你主動放手或者是他(她)離去，你都沒有擁有他(她)，你不斷的在尋找一個像他(她)的，或許是他(她)的代替品，
但你發現哪兒都找不到，於是你始終悔恨，始終對他(她)念念不忘，始終覺得他(她)就是你「最愛」的那個。
失去的時候才想到要追尋，離去的時候才懂得要珍惜， 我只能說，或許人就是犯賤吧！
不要只把焦點鎖在對方的缺點，誰不會犯錯呢？
畢竟沒有人是聖人啊！一直去在意你身邊那個人的缺點， 而忽略他(她)的優點，
一直在介意他做不到的一些事情， 而沒看到他(她)為你做的那些事情，跟你在一起的，
永遠都不會是你的最愛。
The piece reminds me of the moment in “High Fidelity” that John Cusack’s character experiences his epiphany. If you haven’t watched this, I highly recommend it as a smartly written film. It’s something like a romantic comedy, but it’s more a funny film about relationships with moments of insightfulness.
On the other hand, this essay is too cynical, in my estimation. The 最爱 as described here, is the mythical unattainable object. As such, it can never be the person whom you are with at the present, and thus, the person whom you are with, can never be your 最爱, according to the author.
This is wrong, because the author sees your lover only as an object of desire. If the lover whom you are presently with no longer feels like the object of your desire, just realize that you need to see the good things as well as the bad, and then you can tolerate the fact that the one whom you are with, is not your 最爱.
This is pathetic. If you think that, you need to grow up. Your lover was once an object of your desire. After you came together, he/she ceases being an object of desire, because you now begin to see the real person underneath the myth. You need then to ask yourself, can this Other, become my lover, as I become his/her lover? No longer will you be objects of desire for each other, but you will be real persons instead, with the possibility of love.
Er… just to be clear… when I say, “This is pathetic. If you think that, you need to grow up,” I am *not* directing this at Marz.
I’m just using hyperbole to make a point.
Zemuppet! I totally agree with you. Sometimes I post something here doesn’t mean that it’s right. It’s just something that makes you think. Something that you don’t agree with can be very thought-provoking as well.
Something you love most <> something you desire the most.
Love is simple, but yet so complicated. Sometimes I don’t know if I really know what that is. If you love someone, does that mean that you have to be with him/her? If you are not with someone, does that mean that you don’t love that person?
If you love that person, there should be no reason why you can’t be with him/her because… isn’t it’s the love that make you embrace the real person – the person without guard, without makeup? If you can accept the real person, does that mean you love that person?
I’m such a “question gal” today.
為何離別了….卻願再相隨….
為何能共對….又平淡似水….
問如何下去….為何猜不對….
何謂愛….其實最愛只有誰….
Miss Marz, 你有無聽過呢首?
=)
當然有啦.
Hi 问题少女. I like your posts, even those I disagree with, so keep posting. 🙂 They’re good discussion points.
BTW, I finally posted that review on Umi Sake House in Seattle.